So it’s Hugga’s second week of preschool. We’re still having a tough time with the drop-off — I didn’t drop her off on Monday so I didn’t see how it went down, but today was really difficult. Every time we talk about preschool, she starts crying and saying, “I don’t wanna go to preschool!” But when we got there this morning, her head teacher said that yesterday was her best day — that after she got over Daddy leaving her, she didn’t whimper or cry and she played with her buddies. So we’ll get there. And the teachers tell me that drop-off still tends to be difficult with kids who have been in preschool for a long time, so this might just continue to be something we deal with.
It’s not hard for me to imagine what she’s going through. I had the same feeling every time my mom was driving me to Tae Kwon Do and the dentist. My best excuse to keep from having to go (and it really only worked a couple of times) was that I was too tired. So, to this day, I always feel a sudden wave of exhaustion whenever I’m on my way to something I really don’t want to do.
They say one of the best things you can do to relate to your child is to know yourself, to be able to go back in your own childhood and understand what they’re feeling. But doing so doesn’t always provide an easy answer. I try to think of anything my parents would have said to me to make me feel better, and I can’t really think of anything. Whenever we talk about preschool, whether she likes it or not, we stay on the positive, ask her about all the fun things she did that day, what her favorite part was, and we try to just stay excited.
That’s the best I can think of, unless anyone has any other ideas?
And to sort of absolve myself of the guilt of the preschool drop-off, I have been “working on” my relationship with Huz. Another thing they say is good for the kids is to keep the passion and the love alive. Well, the passion and the love are alive and well!
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She’ll get there. You’ll be suprised one day, when she doesn’t even say goodbye to you or want to leave.
PS. I am dissappointed that I can’t see any more of you Flickr photos
Take Care,
Cindy
One thing I noticed that parents did with those who had problems with drop-off was using “positive reinforcement” (whatever, it was bribing). Saying stuff like, “When you get out of school today we’re going to go [fill in with fun place here]!”
Also, I don’t know how you do your drop-offs, but we always promoted the band-aid method. You know, rip it off as fast as you can for a less painful experience. Parents would give their kid a hug and kiss good-bye, then physically hand them over to the teacher/assistant, and quickly leave. I noticed that kids whose parents lingered more in the mornings were the ones who had a tougher time in the long-run. Of course, everyone is different, but it’s worth a shot.
One more thing, when Eduardo and I went through our premarital counseling through the church, our priest asked us, “When you have children, who should be your priority?” I instinctively said that my children would be, as did Eduardo. He said, however, that your spouse should always come first. He said that the greatest gift you could give your children is to love each other openly. When he said that, it totally clicked for me and I knew he was right. So, thumbs up to you two!
@Cindy Do you have a flickr account? If so, I’ll add you as a friend. I had to put my pics on lockdown. =/
@Myla Thank you for all the tips so far! I’m getting better about leaving quickly, and I know Huz doesn’t really have a problem with that. And from what I hear, she only cries for a short time and before long, she’s fine.
And yes girl, it’s hard to NOT put your kids first when you’re married and it’s much easier to let the relationship fall by the wayside, but I do have to agree with your priest — it’s so so important to love each other openly because you two will be the only way your kids learn how to love another person. Never forget to keep the fire going, girl! <3