I’d gone back and forth at least five times yesterday between setting my last post to public or private. Ultimately decided on the latter, but you may have already seen it or it might still be visible in the feed. Once it’s on the internet, it’s there forever, I guess.
Over the past few days I’ve just been mad at shit. I really feel some of my reasons are valid: I’m tired, burnt out, spreading my attention over too many responsibilities and just half-assing it all. But some of my reasons are not, or they’re complicated — I’m resentful that my husband just spent five days in warm weather and sunshine without us just chillin with friends and I can’t even plan five hours to myself without it somehow falling the fuck through; I’m annoyed that my mom hasn’t allowed us over for the past couple of days because she’s either attended to friend emergencies or she needed to show her condo — so I don’t know what to do but hold it all in.
I might be reading too much into this but maybe I’m just avoiding dealing with the gravity of moving. Hugga and her cousin talk on the phone every day and it breaks my heart to hear them say “I love you.” My mom, never one to make too much of her own emotions, can’t help getting teary-eyed at the mere mention of us leaving. I don’t want to think about these things, but I don’t want to dwell on the stupid things that irritate me, either.
Truthfully, the blessings keep on coming. A lot of great things have been happening to my mom lately, Huz actually had a productive trip, and of course, I’m getting a smooth job transition. We’ve had beautiful weather since the beginning of the week, spring has arrived, and I just want us to enjoy the last couple of months we’ll be living here.
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