Happy

Baby Love.

by theresa on February 13, 2012

she loves being a big sister.

I really haven’t much to report on. We’ve been home for a couple of weeks now and it’s been awesome.

Squeaky is a really mellow baby — doesn’t fuss too much, eats heartily, and gives us really nice stretches of sleep that are usually three hours in length. I actually had to google whether or not this was okay, and I have to wonder how much of her mellowness has to do with her own temperament and how much has to do with the vibe we’re giving her.

We were such nervous parents when we brought Hugga home from the hospital. I had a hard time with breastfeeding, she kept losing weight those first couple of weeks, and I cried all the time because I couldn’t handle the stress. I just remember Hugga’s newbornhood being much more terrifying and stressful. With Squeaky, we’re seasoned veterans in this newborn business and, maybe coincidentally, she’s pretty low maintenance as far as newborns go. Given how exciting the pregnancy was, I was expecting a lot more drama.

Breastfeeding has been going really well this time around, too. My milk came in at a good time, and the supply is doing pretty well, possibly also because I’m not freaking out too much about it. Squeaky gets lazy about feeding and will usually fall asleep on the boob, but we’ll work on that.

Hugga loves being a big sister and I’ve learned to stop sweating whether or not she’s having a tough time with it. Four year olds are pretty transparent with their feelings, and while she’s had some jealous or sad moments that I think we’ve handled pretty well, she’s mostly really excited about her new role. A telling conversation we had the other night while Hugga was holding Squeaky on her lap:

Me: You know, when I was a kid, I didn’t have a big sister, and I didn’t even get to be a big sister.
Hugga: (puts her hand on my arm and looks at me with Very Concerned Eyebrows) That’s so sad!

I forget sometimes that this big sister thing could make Hugga’s childhood way more happy and awesome than mine ever was.

Huz and I have needed this leave of absence. Of course, we can’t have special adult time for the next five weeks, but it’s been nice just spending time together and soaking it all in. I don’t know if any of you are going to get this, and I know this is going to come off mad corny, but even though my family and my life felt pretty complete before Squeaky’s conception, it feels even more complete now. This is my team.

Being off from work and getting all sorts of rest has also been amazing. I’m still up-to-date on my Project Life binder, I documented Squeaky’s birth and Hugga’s big sister transition in my SMASH book, and while the progress has been slow going, I’ve even been able to continue with my knitting. And in other good news, Huz upgraded us both to the iPhone 4S as a Valentine’s gift!

Huz, on the other hand, has had a serious case of cabin fever, so tomorrow we’re hauling the fam to Sin City for a couple of days just to get away. Hoping to update you all again soon!

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And Everything Went Better Than Expected…

by theresa on February 3, 2012

We got Hugga’s old preschool teacher-turned-family friend situated in the guest room and left the house at around 2 AM. The contractions started at around midnight, right when Huz got home from work, but they were so different this time — so much milder, like 30-second back aches — that I wasn’t even sure what they were. I just didn’t want to try to sleep and then get hit with “real” contractions too quickly, so I made Huz get out of bed and start getting ready to go. But we half-expected the folks at the hospital to tell us I was in false labor and end up sending us home.

Alas, we were on our way and I gave the operator at L&D the speech my doctor told me to give: my contractions were mild but four and a half minutes apart, my baby was breech, and I have a history of fast delivery. The roads were clear and my contractions weren’t terrible, but Huz was still driving anxiously — we forgot a towel and he was afraid my water was going to break in the car.

Once we got to the hospital at around 3, the movement was pretty swift. I was having contractions, and while they didn’t feel that much more severe than before, they were getting closer together. The hospital staff was getting the OR ready, digging IV crap of various sizes into my wrists, and assuring me that we were going to get this show on the road.

Bunches was born at 3:52 AM on the 31st, less than an hour after we got to the hospital. She was a very healthy 8 pounds, 7 ounces, no complications, and has been latching on the boob like a champ. Hugga looks a lot like her dad, but Bunches overwhelmingly looks more like me, with my lips, my nose, and my ears.

I don’t have much to say about the C-section experience. It was weird, but pretty on par with having a drug-free vaginal delivery. I remember both times having the feeling, “I would be batshit insane to do this again.” I do have to say, it was actually nice that it happened the way it did — everything was quick, I didn’t have to go through much trauma, and no tough decisions needed to be made.

Recovery has definitely been more difficult than before. My recovery has pretty much been by the book, and it’s still pretty rough. Day 2 went much better than Day 1, and it gets easier by the day, but the incision still feels weird and it still hurts to laugh too hard or cough or sneeze. I also didn’t have much of an apetite the first day, and I’m still on pain meds to get around the house, but in my honest opinion, I wouldn’t say that one delivery went better than the other. Then again, I was really lucky to have pretty ideal circumstances either way.

On the home front, Hugga is really amped to be a big sister. We’ve had some rough points — Hugga takes after me in that she likes to think she knows how to do everything by herself and doesn’t like being told anything, and we’ve had to remind her to be gentle and keep her voice down when Bunches is sleeping, which she couldn’t help but be dramatic about. But the great thing, the thing that makes everything so much easier is that Hugga totally loves Bunches. She’s fascinated by her, wants to look at her face all the time and shower her with hugs and kisses. The first thing she said when she woke up was, “Is Mommy and Bunches still here?” and she ran out of bed saying, “I wanna see Bunches!”

And Huz made everything so easy on our first night back home. By homecoming, the dishes had been done, multiple loads of baby laundry had been washed, he’d taken care of my lunch and dinner, and after picking up Hugga from preschool, he even voluntarily went out shopping for some last-minute essentials. I serendipitously and unknowingly married a professional dad, and I don’t know what amazing thing I did to deserve him and all this.

We’ve been really lucky so far to have everything go according to plan. Nothing I worried about even happened. I went into labor when Huz was already home, we had Hugga taken care of, we’ve had a bunch of friends already come to visit, and save for a fever I had right after delivery (which didn’t even make me feel that crappy), the entire experience couldn’t have gone better.

And we couldn’t be happier. :)

31/366: they meet for the first time!

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Ringing in 2012!

by theresa on December 31, 2011

my little desk buddies.

First of all, I know I’m not ballin out of control with readers here, but the few of you who do regularly visit my blog are the best readers a gal can have. I’m grateful for all of the friendships we’ve made and all of the supportive comments you’ve left for me over the years. It really means an imperial fuckton to me.

I know I just said that I was giving up on resolutions and self-improvement projects this year, but of course, there are areas that could use a little work.

1. Creativity.
I’ve probably already explained the shit out of this, but “Create” is my One Little Word of 2012. These past couple of months I’ve gained a lot of momentum and really hit my stride with creating more fearlessly and trying new things, and I want to keep that up into the new year and involve my family a little more.

2. Los Angeles.
As mentioned, I have an almost debilitating fear of driving and getting around in this city, but I need to just get over it already. I don’t know exactly how I’ll do this, but I’ve got a running list of craft stores I need to visit that might possibly get me out of that funk.

3. Friendship.
While I try to make myself available as much as possible to friends in need, I still have a sort of innate reaction inside when old friends contact me — I worry that they’re going to ask me for something or cause drama in my life, and I avoid at all costs. This is a horrible, ugly habit I picked up from my dad, to keep people (even ones I adore) at a ten-foot pole length. He was stingy with his time and his money, but most of all, his love. And keeping people at a distance just because you’re afraid to give makes for a really lonely place. So I’d like to work on crushing this habit and giving more of myself to the world. I really feel like this will bring the right people into my life. And I think this would really help me fall in love with Los Angeles.

4. Debt.
I know, this ends up on all of our lists every single year, so I know there aren’t a whole lot of us actually making headway. I totally fell off, especially over the holiday season, but I’d like to make a concerted effort this year to pay down my debt — especially because this is one thing I know Huz wants to work on for himself. I know it won’t be easy, especially with a new member of the family, but we’ll get there.

5. Thirty.
I’ll be celebrating my 30th birthday in October and, to paraphrase from the homie Nicole, I’d like to enter my 30′s as the best version of me. I want to enter my 30′s as a happy, confident woman, and I feel I’m pretty close to being there. The three things that I think would make this picture complete is a defined style that reflects who I am inside, healthier habits (no set goals to lose weight since I’m sure my body will be all over the place with this baby, but I do want to at least have a regular workout routine by my birthday), and being on track to accomplishing a goal of some sort. I let goals fall by the wayside this year, but I’m happy I did because I didn’t know how to set and strive for them without feeling an immense amount of pressure. I either never got anything done, or I was miserable in doing them. I’ve spent this year enjoying the journey and enjoying learning much more, and while I still want to keep crafting fun and carefree, I want to be able to put this into practice in my writing career (oh yeah, that thing).

Not hard and fast resolutions, and not really anything that requires a huge habit change (except maybe the debt thing). Just some areas I acknowledge need a little work.

Wishing you guys a happy new year! Please stay safe tonight and don’t you dare drive while tipsy!

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