Vegas, babies, Vegas!

by theresa on February 18, 2012

We didn’t do any gambling or drinking, but we had a blast in Vegas nonetheless — enough fun that Huz got us an extra night at Aria Resort, which was gorgeous. We usually only go for the outlet shopping and food, but we did enough kid-oriented things for Hugga to be really sad about leaving. We took her to M&M World, got her Popsicle Fondue (and a Sharing Fondue for us) at Max Brenner’s, had breakfast at Dunkin Donuts almost every day, and let her jump on all the beds.

It was also Squeaky’s first road trip and she did really well — slept most of the way with nary a cry. Hugga’s already a seasoned veteran at long trips, having been on a 12 hour plane ride to Seoul and driven for an entire week across the country with us. We’re hoping to get Squeaky equally as well-traveled.

Here are some pics from our few days away:

Hugga’s favorite part: jumping on the bed.

Sisters being sisters.

Hugga with her Popsicle Fondue.

Dunkin Donuts, my favorite part about Vegas.

Sisters being sisters again.

On the way back from Vegas. Took this with my iPhone!

I promise I have a Project Life post coming up — I’ve been able to keep up with the weeks, I just haven’t taken pictures of my progress so far.

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Baby Love.

by theresa on February 13, 2012

she loves being a big sister.

I really haven’t much to report on. We’ve been home for a couple of weeks now and it’s been awesome.

Squeaky is a really mellow baby — doesn’t fuss too much, eats heartily, and gives us really nice stretches of sleep that are usually three hours in length. I actually had to google whether or not this was okay, and I have to wonder how much of her mellowness has to do with her own temperament and how much has to do with the vibe we’re giving her.

We were such nervous parents when we brought Hugga home from the hospital. I had a hard time with breastfeeding, she kept losing weight those first couple of weeks, and I cried all the time because I couldn’t handle the stress. I just remember Hugga’s newbornhood being much more terrifying and stressful. With Squeaky, we’re seasoned veterans in this newborn business and, maybe coincidentally, she’s pretty low maintenance as far as newborns go. Given how exciting the pregnancy was, I was expecting a lot more drama.

Breastfeeding has been going really well this time around, too. My milk came in at a good time, and the supply is doing pretty well, possibly also because I’m not freaking out too much about it. Squeaky gets lazy about feeding and will usually fall asleep on the boob, but we’ll work on that.

Hugga loves being a big sister and I’ve learned to stop sweating whether or not she’s having a tough time with it. Four year olds are pretty transparent with their feelings, and while she’s had some jealous or sad moments that I think we’ve handled pretty well, she’s mostly really excited about her new role. A telling conversation we had the other night while Hugga was holding Squeaky on her lap:

Me: You know, when I was a kid, I didn’t have a big sister, and I didn’t even get to be a big sister.
Hugga: (puts her hand on my arm and looks at me with Very Concerned Eyebrows) That’s so sad!

I forget sometimes that this big sister thing could make Hugga’s childhood way more happy and awesome than mine ever was.

Huz and I have needed this leave of absence. Of course, we can’t have special adult time for the next five weeks, but it’s been nice just spending time together and soaking it all in. I don’t know if any of you are going to get this, and I know this is going to come off mad corny, but even though my family and my life felt pretty complete before Squeaky’s conception, it feels even more complete now. This is my team.

Being off from work and getting all sorts of rest has also been amazing. I’m still up-to-date on my Project Life binder, I documented Squeaky’s birth and Hugga’s big sister transition in my SMASH book, and while the progress has been slow going, I’ve even been able to continue with my knitting. And in other good news, Huz upgraded us both to the iPhone 4S as a Valentine’s gift!

Huz, on the other hand, has had a serious case of cabin fever, so tomorrow we’re hauling the fam to Sin City for a couple of days just to get away. Hoping to update you all again soon!

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Sisterhood.

by theresa on February 6, 2012

Before Squeaky (yes, I changed her blog nickname) was born, I wondered over and over again how I could possibly find room in my heart to love another child as much as I loved Hugga. Everybody told me it would “just happen” but I honestly couldn’t fathom how. Then I gave birth and realized everyone was right. It just happened.

Every morning since we’ve gotten home, the first thing Hugga wants to do when she gets out of bed is kiss her squeaky little sister. Hugga has been adjusting to the change swimmingly so far — her jealous moments are rare, and whenever Squeaky starts to cry, Hugga is way more inclined to want to figure out what’s wrong. She’ll sing to her or giggle with her or, most often, she says, “Hurry, Mommy, Squeaky wants to nurse!” And very little about her behavior has changed — she’s still the loving girl she’s always been, and still needs the occasional attitude check as usual. We barely had to teach her any of this — it’s almost like Hugga is a natural professional big sister.

One of the shitty things about Huz and I being only children is that we’re hyperaware of what a huge change this must be for Hugga. At least, I should say I am hyperaware. Huz is taking his cues from Hugga, and since she doesn’t seem to be having that much trouble with the transition (at least, much less than I was anticipating), he’s a lot less conflicted about it as I am.

I, unsurprisingly, am a nervous wreck. This sister thing is clearly much harder for me than it is for Hugga, and I am overthinking and making a big deal out of something that most families don’t even think about.

I’m sure part of it has to do with the regular baby blues (which are admittedly less severe this time around), but I feel guilty for everything. I make a concerted effort to include Hugga in everything I do and still try to do as much of the old Hugga routine as I can — helping her brush her teeth, getting her ready for bed, reading her bedtime book to her, etc. I tell her almost every second of the day that she’s doing an amazing job as a big sister. And I try to shower her with kisses and hugs as much as possible, which she’s still pretty uninterested in.

Yet I still feel bad in those moments when we have to be serious about stuff we’ve always had to be serious about — like how she takes forever to eat. I even feel bad when I really consider how much less terrifying parenthood is the second time around, and how much more mellow I am with Squeaky than I was with Hugga. I worry that I’ve deprived Hugga of something by being too cautious or I worry that maybe I didn’t have as much patience back then as I do now (of course I didn’t).

But I really broke down yesterday when Squeaky started crying and I caught Hugga pushing the swing when I had specifically asked her not to. Hugga was gentle and she sang to her and, most importantly, got Squeaky to stop fussing. I cry like an idiot just thinking about it. I felt intensely bad that I didn’t have more faith in Hugga’s ability to handle things well, and I guess that’s where I gotta find my strength in this.

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